Burn

 I once lost my final sliver of hope in the corner of  the street where I used to meet him after the winter rains.

It happened all at once.

Like eating honey out of a broken glass jar-
the sweetness and copper dab of blood blending into an unimaginable nectar that lingered for an eon on my darkened tongue...

I kept my head firmly under the waves-
waiting for the final breath to pass-
dreaming of  shattered rainbows bursting in colour under my tired eyelids
but my body was not willing to give up.

And I am grateful.

For now I am enmeshed in lives and loves and goodness
and my dying breath now flames again
and scalds me with its willingness to live and love and hope .

The December skies open up-
 The rain falls in torrents from the moonlight.
And I burn my heart again on the dying embers of an ancient passion.

So, 2015.

2015 has been both the greatest and the worst year in a while.

Great because I travelled a lot, met amazing people, hit the gym, got engaged, started working in one of the best schools in Delhi, earned more and saved up a bit as well... whew.
Worst because I got abused on the travels, my dog died, I met some douche bags in the general pool of amazing people, got burnt out due to stress as my engagement fell apart because of loyalty issues that was unfortunately my fault and am broke again as the year comes to an end.

People don't believe in astrology, but the year 2015 adds up to number 8 which is governed by Saturn.
Now Saturn is a difficult task master. He gives you a roller coaster ride where you experience thrills but throw up as you gingerly get off the ride,

But after my numerous interactions with countless people in the last 12 months, I have learnt that:

1. I still have myself.
2.I have added another eventful chapter to my life, with amazing stories to tell.
3. I have survived depression again.
4. My closest friends are the ones who know I am flawed but love me anyway.
5. My mother is still my best critic and guide.
6. I learnt things the hard way, without a safety net, map or harness.
7. The only way out of most of the situations was through.
8. I didn't lose my sense of humour.
9. I accepted my mistakes and genuinely tried to rectify them.
10. I realised when it was time to move on.
11. I was selfish.
12. I was selfless.
13.I underwent the joys of falling in love all over again. And losing it- but not giving up Hope.
14. I underwent the grief of bereavement for the loss of loved ones.
15. I survived another year.

I want to thank all those who have made this year memorable.
Believe me when I say this- I owe you my growth and wisdom.
Thank you.