The Struggle Is Real.

                    Art: Pascal Campion 

For a few months now, whenever I share my future plans with people, I have been met with responses ranging from pity to sarcasm. 

I had something good and I threw it away. 

It wasn't in the least bit practical. 

Last year saw me with my own place, a good job and a satisfying relationship.

Why had I turned it all upside down? 

Why have I chosen something that is obviously difficult? 

Something that will make me a waiter. ( Pun intended

I have carefully reflected and pondered on my decisions in the first quarter of what can only go on to be, an eventful year. 

Yes, I had a place to lay my tired body. It was my own pad, a symbol of my new-found independence... But it did nothing to quell the loneliness every afternoon, when I returned and made a measley meal of 'khichdi' for my tired self. 

My job and relationship were learning spaces for me, where I had experiences that made me grow as a person. I can never forget them and I am immensely grateful for the love and support I got from there. But I had to move on. I had outgrown both. 

We spoil so many memories because we never know when to say 'goodbye'.

Yes, I am now the proud owner of a misty tomorrow- I don't know how things will play out for me. 

But I have made the choice to not settle for anything but what I really, really want to do.

No Comprises Allowed. 

I don't know how successful my present ideas will be, whether they will flesh out into sweet fruition, but I know that I only have that much time before I allow myself to get lost into the comforts of daily living again. 

I choose the Struggle. 

Knowingly. 

Foolishly. 

I have nothing to lose.