A day for love in a year of indifference.
Dark rain washing away a desert of pain-
grain by grain.

Tonight I won't beg for you.

Oh to break down and cry in your arms!
Shedding inhibition and tears in a single night.
To open the midnight door to you heart and let
myself tiptoe in-
Stopping in dismay,
exclaiming in agony at what I find there-
A frightened boy in a night cap,
clutching his heart to his chest.
Afraid to let go.

Blue flame
melting me down
memory by memory
till I'm but a black fleck
of all I ever was.
Burning holes in the couch
with cigarettes and the love we made.
Daylight creeping beneath fluttering eyelids
waking to a snowstorm of want.
An eyelash spiked with the remnants of tears she
cried in her sleep as I thawed.
One last time.

Evolving

 Bless those days when our love blossomed like bluebells and we crushed them under our feet,
carelessly, thoughtlessly,
reveling in our reckless bravado.

You drank dark wine from my eyes.
The dull ache behind each tear and the weekly organized fights.
Each time, falling endlessly into your arms.
And there were arms- arms and legs to enfold me close
in my very own world of sweet-smelling sweat and nicotine.

The heavy weight of peace that burst in my head each time I awoke in your embrace.
Catching my breath when I saw the fire start in your eye again
and feeling your love grow against my thigh again.

Blessed were those days.

Now, your love flashes like lightning, fleeting, white.
Ominous on a rainy summer night.
And I hear myself pacing restlessly,
tirelessly,
for you to break upon me like a storm cloud
drenching a tired desert rose with old love
and new regret.

Insatiable.

 My toes curl when I hear you murmur my name,
hotly, softly, behind my eager ear.
And then all is naked silence.
And then I am left trembling,
like a white lemon blossom,
crushed.
The final sacrifice of a tidal, ancient passion.

No Hot Bods for Me.

I don't remember the last time I found a man hot enough that I'd want him inside me.
'It's such a sad, sad situation, and it's getting more and more absurd'
I perceive this as a problem, I mean, come on, I'm 23, and not that bad looking etc,
How is it that I've never made out or slept with a hot man?
I mean.
Not ONE.
:(
Is there something wrong with me?

Also, why can't I get a guy who I like to like me back?
All my relationships are a compromise.
I be with the guys who like me.
Poor, poor me.

Fuck it.

So tomorrow is a saturday and I have extra class like from 9:30 to 3. FML..
Still.
My craving for a hot bod is NOT done.
Wanting.
Now.
:(